The first and second one go together more often than not. I see this every single day and it drives me crazy. At Alia's school, parents are responsible for taking kids to/from school if you live less than 2 miles away from the school. There is a large population of kids that fall into this category, so there are tons of cars making the drop-off each day. The school has a very specific procedure for this and everyone knows about it, yet I constantly see parents each day choosing to ignore the procedures, thereby making things more difficult for everyone around them. It's simple enough - if your child is in Kindergarten, you drive to the front of the loop and pull behind the last car that is in line there (Kindergarteners get out 5 minutes before everyone else). There's not enough space for all the parents to park there to pick up their kindergarteners, so some have to park in other places and wait for a spot. There are always people who arrive and instead of pulling to the next available spot, pull instead to a spot that they think is "prime", leaving irregular spaces and gaps that make it really hard for people to have to try to parallel park in or spaces that aren't quite big enough for someone to park in. So less people get to park in front this way and these parents don't give a crap - as long as they got their prime parking - and they won't budge an inch to help anyone else out. If the cars parking in front of you in the line move forward, then you are supposed to move forward as well. But these people who think they have to be in their specific perfect spot, refuse to move, thus making the cards behind them have to pull around them and try to wedge themself into the spot that opened up in front.
There are other things similar to this that happen every day and I find this incredibly inconsiderate, ill-mannered, and a horrible example to everyone around them. These people are sending the message to everyone around them (including kids) that they are more important than other people, are above following guidelines that are set for the safety and effectiveness of everyone; and are selfish and not very thoughtful people.
There is a whole separate set of behaviors for the drop-off in the morning. I have discovered that somehow there is a large population of parents who seem to think that their children are utterly incapable of walking more than a few steps. Every single morning, I see cars that wait, wait, wait and inch their car forward one more spot and one more spot and one more spot until they are literally the very first car in line - directly in front of the front door of the school, before they will let their kids get out of the car to go inside. And quite often the kids that get out are BIG kids - 5th and 6th graders. Seriously. You're telling me that your 9-year-old isn't capable of walking those extra 10 steps that 2 car lengths would make? And you feel like you need to hold up the entire line that is behind you so that you can inch your way to this position? It truly never ceases to amaze me. While I am letting my 6-year-old out to walk her way as soon as we get to the sidewalk that runs all along the loop, the kids that are much older than her are getting front door treatment from their mollycoddling parents who are more important than anyone else. No wonder there is a problem with obesity in children if this is what parents are teaching them. And just in case you are wondering, this behavior takes place no matter what the weather is like. I would understand it more if it were -5 degrees and a blizzard outside. But it happens when it's 60 degrees outside and sunny. I try to find it humerous, but mostly I find it sad and annoying.
There are also lots of people who choose not to wait in line to drop their kids off and just drive past the whole row of cars, park in the middle of the road and make everyone else who has been waiting in line to drop their kids off, wait until their kids are out before they move their roadblock for everyone else. I think this teaches children that it is ok to not follow rules if you happen to be in a hurry, or if you happen to just not feel like following them that day. Quite honestly, many of the problems that I see in kids today, I don't think you have to look much further than their parents to see where the problems are stemming from.
OK, it's off my chest. That's been building up for 8 months of observation in our first year of having a child in school. Maybe after another couple years of this I'll progress to the point where it doesn't bother me...maybe. Or maybe I'll make sure when we move the next time, we live far enough away that my kids can just take the bus!
10 comments:
1st I want to say that I have never heard of the term mollycoddling but now it is my new word. 2nd of all.. Welcome to my world.. It is a NIGHTMARE at Eli's school. There is very little parking and everyone drives to and from school. Eli takes the bus, but when he first started I like to drive him so I could be sure he knew where his room was and I like to have that contact with the teacher. Now I avoid it like the plague. It is basically a free-for-all and the people that live in the neighborhood of the school always have people parking on their lawns. Oy vey! What a bunch of Mollycoddlers!
Both of you are welcome to MY WORLD! I also have parents who refuse to let me keep their child in for recess for unfinished work. Their poor child needs to play with friends. Then they wonder why I can't make them get all their work done. Maybe it is because when I try things that bug the child, the parent intervenes. Don't even get me started. Luckily there are more good parents than crazy ones.
The preschoolers at Isaac's school must be picked up at their classroom, and all of the preschool parents are supposed to wait in the lobby until the bell rings, so that the other classes aren't distracted by lots of people walking in the hallway and "time to go home." Two parents just walk down the hall and grab their kids, and it ceaselessly annoys me. Most of the other parents start inching their way to the hall about 20 seconds before the bell rings, which I consider acceptable and a little cute...
hehehe, i could see your face all red as you were writing this! i miss the level headedness you posess, and how sad i only get to read about it. wish i could say uhuh to your face!
because,,,
when you get upset you have everything to back it up, you are fair and, ya, i want to be cool like you when i grow up....
Reminds me of the scene in Mr. Mom: "You're doing it wrong!" :-)
D,count your blessings! From reading this I just KNOW you'd hate working at a daycare just as much as I do. Not only do I get to see behavior like this in the mornings or afternoon, I get to spend all day with the misdeeds of parents that are reflected in the behavior of their children.
It bugs me to see how many parents behave towards their kids. What happened? Are people really so stupid thinking that all their "mollycuddling" is doing their child any good? Or is that just their way of making up for not caring much about their kids other than the mere necessities? I'm not sure...
P.S. In Germany most elementary school kids either walk to school or ride their bikes. :) Very few cars to deal with. Maybe you should move. Hahahaha...
What a mess! That's so frustrating. Just obey the rules, people!!!
What great post, D. I think there many of us out there who feel exactly the way you do. It certainly is a good reminder that kids are watching all the time, we had better make good choices if we want them too.
Ugh..I do not look forward to dealing with this.
On NPR--I don't remember which program--they interviewed a research psychologist whose emphasis was on studying what children do in their free time. His most recent project was to make longitudinal a study he did in the 70s where he interviewed children when they were at play alone; they showed him their forts and hobbies and secret codes and all that other childhood stuff. When he went back his research was much harder because the children didn't have free time, in the sense that they didn't have time when they were independent of their parents. By the end of the field study he had to resort to questions like "What do you do when you are waiting for your parents to pick you up?" because that was as close as many of the children got to independent time.
Just thought I'd point out that mollycoddling has a clinically documented increase over the past few decades.
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